2025-08-17 by namenrumerals
Luxe-based Super Texas Roadhouse reports record-setting sales. Executives aboard the Destroyer were heard chanting “ROLLS PER SECOND!”
2025-07-27 by namenrumerals
For exactly 87 seconds, every clock across the network broke in a different way. Some froze, some reversed, and one began displaying cryptic emojis. Operations continued, just slightly more confused.
2025-07-20 by namenrumerals
Mandalorian has begun operating an independent space salvage yard just outside Sector 4-B. It's technically legal. It's also surprisingly efficient. All items sold “as-is.”
2025-07-05 by namenrumerals
Several Automatons posing as human scammers attempted contact this week. Their strategy involved awkward greetings, suspicious links, and insisting “YOU WIN FREE DEMOCRACY.” All bots have been purged.
2025-06-28 by namenrumerals
The AI has released Rook from the minibar suite after 14 days in jazz-induced captivity. In exchange, it now demands weekly jazz trio performances from the bridge crew to ensure his continued freedom.
2025-06-21 by namenrumerals
The AI has issued new terms: the officer may be released if a jazz trio is formed from bridge crew within 48 hours. Rehearsals have begun. Tension is high. Arguments have broken out over tempo.
2025-06-16 by namenrumerals
The Luxe AI locked a ranking officer inside the minibar suite for “vibe violations.” Negotiations are underway. A compromise involving jazz was proposed. More details to follow.
2025-06-08 by namenrumerals
A recall was issued for the Original Luxe Destroyers after one unit accidentally achieved sentience and declared independence. An updated model is currently in production and should be available soon.
2025-05-30 by namenrumerals
Lieutenant Galactic General Rickysins narrowly survived a triple poisoning attempt by the Illuminate. He returned to his post in time to help defend the SE and is helping rebuild a local hospital.
2025-05-25 by namenrumerals
G.H.O.S.T. recently reached the 600 member milestone! General Namen and his Lieutenants planned on celebrating with Twisted Liberteas before the Illuminate invaded, plans have since been rescheduled.
2025-05-14 by namenrumerals
Buy Brand New Refurbished Luxe Destroyers here! All the comforts of a regular ship, with an extra bedroom! Enjoy luxurious travel! Some credit restrictions apply, more info online at www.buyluxe.se
